Widows of Oman call for end to prejudice

Saleh al Shaibany
Foreign Correspondent

* Last Updated: November 22. 2009 8:19PM UAE / November 22. 2009 4:19PM GMT

MUSCAT // Nasra al Mukhaini, 38, a widow for the past 18 months, has found that life without her husband of 16 years is even more difficult than she could have imagined.

He left her with three young children and, with no formal education, Ms al Mukhaini cannot find a job to support her family. They survive from the financial support of her two brothers.

“My brothers have their own families and they can’t spare much. They also are under a lot of pressure from their wives because my children and I are extra mouths to feed,” said Ms al Mukhaini , whose husband, who died at the age of 42, was a mechanic for an automobile dealership.

Many Omani widows struggle to lead happy lives after losing their husbands in a society that treats them as a burden and bad luck. Most widows struggle to cope with their grief, and few are able to find second husbands and build new lives.

According to a local superstition, anyone they marry is destined to die a premature death.

Women’s rights activists say the superstition is contrary to Islamic teaching, but is kept alive by men who do not want to be saddled with orphaned children and by women reluctant to share their husbands with second wives. “It is a stupid tradition, started by men who see orphaned children as a burden. Islam encourages men to marry widows to shelter them and protect them from loose tongues,” Ms al Mukhaini said.

In the Qur’an, Muslim men are allowed to marry four wives, and one of the reasons given is to help provide a new life for widowed women.

Widows in Oman also become the victim of gossip by other women whenever they interact with men.

“They sometimes get labelled as men grabbers if they get friendly with the opposite sex, just because they are available. These women don’t understand that being available does not mean a widow is on the lookout to get married to any man she makes contact with,” Ms al Mukhaini said.

Many young widows also find that their friends often abandon them after the deaths of their husbands. With no friends, their social lives become severely restricted.

“Jealous wives would never invite young and pretty widows to their houses. We are kept away from their husbands. They see us as a threat to their marriages. Of course, their fear is unfounded, but these girls suddenly find that they need to protect their marriages,” Sabiha Malik, 29, said.

Ms Malik’s husband died three years ago, leaving her with two children but no financial problems. She is a business graduate with a well-paying job and is able to support her young family.

“Perhaps a widow like me can be spared from financial problems, but there is no escaping the prejudice of the society. No one likes to admit it, but we are treated like social outcasts; it’s all smiles in front, but frowns behind your back,” Ms Malik said.

According to Ms al Mukhaini, widows are rarely invited to weddings, which are the main social gatherings of the year in Oman and a chance to get out of the house and spend time with family and friends.

“If you do [invite them], then bad luck would descend on the newlyweds. At worst, the bride will also become a widow, as if widowhood is a contamination that can be passed on. You can see the scale of the problem a widow has to face,” Ms al Mukhaini said.

Ms Malik called for social reforms and a change of attitude to eliminate misconceptions about widows.

“It is about time we change. I know it is difficult, but it can be done through symposiums backed by the media. But more widows must come forward to support the cause because most of them prefer to suffer silently. The bad luck associated with us is just part of a cruel tradition, started centuries ago. It is un-Islamic, too,” Ms Malik said.

According to the Qur’an, widows cannot marry again immediately but must wait four months and 10 days after the death of their husbands. The period is called iddah and its purpose is to establish whether the widow is pregnant or not to avoid confusion over who the father is if she gets married again. It is also to protect women from rushing to another marriage while they are emotionally vulnerable in the period of mourning.

Widows who have romantic relationships outside of marriage defend themselves and blame the communities they live in.

“We have biological needs and if we can’t get husbands, then who could blame us?” a widow who identified herself only as Salma said.

Some Omani widows marry foreign men after failing to find suitors from among their compatriots. “Younger widows marrying foreigners is a more popular option and a solution to their matrimonial problem,” Salma added.

But Salma said the call on tolerance from society to ease the suffering of widows hinges on educated women who have lost their husbands, like Sabiha Malik.

“Oman is not the place where women’s voices are heard easily. It will take time to be embraced by society. However, educated women can start the movement now by having roadshows, seminars and television talk shows to change that,” Salma said.

Source The National: Widows of Oman call for end to prejudice

Omanis count cost of funds fraud

MUSCAT // When each of the 20 people were swindled out of 1,500 rials (Dh14,300) by a jomeea financing scheme, they had no option but to report the “crime” to the police. Even before they made the complaint, they knew they had little hope of getting their money back.

Jomeea is a tradition practised in Omani communities to raise funds for individuals to finance the purchase of a property, such as a farm, or the construction of a house. Each member of the jomeea, on a rotational basis, collects a fixed amount of money from the other members each month.

Members in a jomeea group can be as few as five but regularly number more than 30. The amount of money changing hands ranges from 50 rials to 2,000 rials a month, depending on the financial status of participants. Each member receives the amount he contributed when his turn comes. The person receiving the money continues to contribute until the round ends.

Jomeeas are completely legal, though susceptible to dishonest members, and frowned upon by bankers here.

Hundreds of people across the country have been swindled over the years, but there are no statistics because the jomeea is not an officially sanctioned practice and the government has repeatedly said it does not get involved in private financial arrangements. The Central Bank of Oman, in a recent statement, refused to regulate the practice, saying it was an arrangement incompatible with standard international financial practices.

For Mohammed Shaikhan, 36, a mechanical engineer, the jomeea due would have been 28,500 rials with which he planned to partly finance his house in Muscat. Mr Shaikhan said a member of his jomeea left the country for Africa after collecting the money in his round – and never returned.

“The man just disappeared with our money and we believe he is out of the country. I suspect he is somewhere in Africa, where he cannot be found,” Mr Sheikhan said. “It is embarrassing to talk about it that 20 people can be swindled by a seemingly nice man.”

Mr Shaikhan and his friends’ case was rejected by the court since there was nothing in writing about the arrangement. The judge said that the matter “must be solved amicably between the concerned members of the jomeea, like it always has been over the years”.

They are not the only ones whose cases have been rejected by the courts. Cheated people do not usually talk about their predicament because of the shame.

In rare circumstances, courts have convicted people for defrauding their jomeea partners. Laila Moosawi, a nurse, who was swindled out of more than 3,200 rials by a jomeea, said she and other members successfully prosecuted the man responsible for the crime, but she did not see a penny of her investment.

“Though we had nothing in writing between us, we paid by cheques and the bank easily traced the money in his account when it was his turn to receive the cash. We managed to put him in prison on that basis. It helped because he was in the country and admitted what he had done,” Mrs Moosawi said. “We did not get our money because the criminal said that he spent it. Though we had the satisfaction of seeing him get a two-year sentence, we are severely short of cash. The man will come out eventually from jail to spend the 16,000 rials.”

The man said he spent it, although it is possible he had secreted it away. Failure to pay back the money factored into his sentence.

In many instances of jomeea fraud, swindlers stop paying once they receive their portion of the money and either disappear or cook up stories of their houses being burgled.

Despite the risk involved, jomeea financing remains prevalent.

“Taking a bank loan, according to Islam is haram [forbidden] because of the reebah [interest]. Jomeea offers people interest-free financing, which gives them assurance that the money they receive is not tainted with usury,” Jalil al Badai, a tribal elder, said.

There are no Islamic banks in Oman. Deeply religious Omanis decline interest on their savings and give instructions to their bank managers that the interest be given to charity. They almost never take bank loans, and this is why the practice survives.

Not all people who participate in a jomeea group join because of their religiosity. Some do it to avoid paying steep interest on bank loans. Omani banks at the moment charge up to eight per cent interest per year.

Mr al Badai has written to the Central Bank for jomeea financing to be recognised by the government and regulated by its financial laws. He has not given up hope that the government will one day regulate jomeea.

“This is not Islamic finance nor is it the conventional western one that we see being practised. Jomeea is an Omani tradition to raise money for the community. It has been practised for centuries and only in the last 10 years do we see people with bad intentions joining. I think the Central Bank must play its role to encourage this tradition from going out of extinction,” Mr al Badai said.

Financial analysts said the local banks’ shareholders saw jomeea as a threat to their business, and some believe that this was the reason it would never be regulated.

“If jomeea is accepted and regulated by the government, then that may well restrict the profitability of the local banks in the long run,” Jassim Battash, a financial analyst with Seeb Investment Services, said.

According to Central Bank statistics, more than 70 per cent of the credit sanctioned by local banks are classified as personal loans.

Reproduced from The National: Omanis count cost of funds fraud